Nature's Paparazzi Gifts

Life is for the birds.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

Vegetarian Birds

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Occupational Hazards.

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

SPOONING CACTI

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

"Let's face it Mum, the main reason we're an endangered species is that we're fussy eaters..."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

Grass huggers.

Bee Chess

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

A Crab Tubing in a Tidepool

Birds steal sleeping girl's shoelaces.

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

'How much?! You can't be serious: It's a hole in a tree!'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

A Deer Traffic Warden.

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."