Nature Comedy Gifts

Bear Necessities - "Cigarettes, beer and 400 rainbow trout."

Raking bad.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Cat box"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Try me/try me/try me...

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Get out of my face!"

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Pray for me.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

Penguin

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

Slug Bait- snails love it

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Just a little seasoning...

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'