Nature Comedians Gifts

'Stop it - you know I can't resist that mating call thing!'

'Sorry Charles, but according to my GPS-receiver, I'm still in my own territory...'

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Happy Gnu Year!"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Eat me"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"Get out of my face!"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Pray for me.'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Slug Bait- snails love it

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Penguin

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"