Nature Comedy Aficionado Gifts

'I didn't say a squirrel was on our bird feeder again...I said Earl was on our bird feeder again!'

"Well, you have the stethoscope this week, so go and check if this one is dead..."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Cat box"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Penguin

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Just a little seasoning...

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"I'm a monster."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

Split the last one?

Sawfish cuts through the oars of row boat.

Possums that ski.

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

Alligator Bars

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"I'm in no great hurry to evolve."

Evolution...the booted flamingo.

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"