Nativity Storyteller Gifts

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

Do not open 'til Christmas...

"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I saw a heavenly host of angels?"

Zoom Christmas

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

Filming Christmas

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

'Oh, Christ.'

A feminist Christmas.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Three Parent Baby

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

Knight before Christmas

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'We must be close! It's the little clown of Bethlehem.'

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

Three Wise Men on one camel. One says: 'We've decided to set an example by camel sharing.'

Shepherd points out the north star to 3 wisemen holding maps.

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."