Nativity Humorist Gifts

We only follow one star round here, buddy!

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Pope tarts.

Zoom Christmas

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Guru.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

R.C.I.A.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Praying Mantis.

Regifts of the Magi

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'