National Defense Gifts

Dronin'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

dog vs UFO...

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Climate Change

"Some trees in New Hampshire hate being hugged."

The New Normal

The Jose Padilla Experience

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

"You see? I told you if we tied ourselves to this tree they wouldn't cut it down. Persistence is the name of the game. Persistence."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

Legalish

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"We've got to fix the climate before we run out of trees to print money on."

US fears missile competition.

Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North

Greenpeace protestor joining the birds.

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

"Here's the weak point."

Cyberwarfare

Obama's surveillance of America.

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

How To Cut The Defense Budget

The House Always Wins

"Tell Congress we need a super duper hypersonic missile."

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

Tank. Building this vehicle will create jobs and stimulate growth! He's given new meaning to the phrase "The economy's in the tank"!

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

'Who is to blame?'