Defense Industry Gifts

The Unknown Military Contractor

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

US fears missile competition.

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North

"Tell Congress we need a super duper hypersonic missile."

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Tank. Building this vehicle will create jobs and stimulate growth! He's given new meaning to the phrase "The economy's in the tank"!

Robo Sapiens

Boomerang

Cyberwarfare

F&E Submarine Contractors. When we ask the government for assistance, we should avoid calling it a "bailout."

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

The House Always Wins

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

Francois Hollande

'What do you mean it doesn't work? It's not rocket science!'

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

The Jumping Tank

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

Bomb Back Better

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

"We're fighting them in zone A, they're our allies in zone B, and we don't know what to do in zone C."

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

"It's not like we sold the Saudis the swords for the executions...we didn't, did we?"

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

"War is hell...but peace is hell for the defense budget."

Depts of Health - Genetic Engineering / Depts of Defense - Biological Warfare.