Defense Technology Gifts

"The 2.3 billion dollar item, is that before or after the manufacturer's rebate?"

Depts of Health - Genetic Engineering / Depts of Defense - Biological Warfare.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Anti-Agent

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Polly txt speak

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades