Nasdaq Enthusiast Gifts

I dropped out of school to start a company listed on NASDAQ.

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Will work for ETFs

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Wall Street Couch

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Day trading.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

A child runs an equity stand.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'