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"It's all me, me, me, with you - it's like the world revolves around YOU all the time!"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

This new writer we've got is really working out, dear. I feel reinvigorated! Like someone's breathed new life into me! Why, I feel like anything can happen now! Like we can do things that are out of the ordinary! things we almost never do. I said Not tonight, dear.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Modern Narcissism

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

One book... One book... One book...

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."