Narcissism Commentator Pillows

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Modern Narcissism

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"With great power comes great reward."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

Suggestions Get Shredded.

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

Poser

"Today the House Intelligence committee began its investigation of the FBI's investigation of the House Intelligence Committees investigation of the FBI..."

"Listen, pal! I didn't spend seven million bucks to get here so I could yield the floor to you."

"Do you know what your problem is, Duane? You're too full of yourself!"

"There's a customer-satisfaction questionnaire for you to fill out and for us to not look at and immediately throw away."

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

"The only reason I would take a job in government is to write a tell-all book!"

Narcissus

'Welcome to Narcissists Anonymous. Now before we get started let's talk about me for awhile.'

Selfie-Conscious

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

"Oh, please, do tell me what Warren Buffett has to say about adding bleach to delicates."

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'