Narcissism Commentator Prints

Yeah, I guess it works better for New York than mine does for Maine.

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Modern Narcissism

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"With great power comes great reward."

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

Psychiatric Clinic. I'm not sure giving a narcissist an hour a week where it's all about him counts as therapy.

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

Suggestions Get Shredded.

"Let's demonstrate our corporate values of diversity and inclusion and listen to some of Brian's stupid ideas."

Poser

A Diverse Cabinet That Looks Like America

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

"Today the House Intelligence committee began its investigation of the FBI's investigation of the House Intelligence Committees investigation of the FBI..."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"Listen, pal! I didn't spend seven million bucks to get here so I could yield the floor to you."

"Do you know what your problem is, Duane? You're too full of yourself!"

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

"There's a customer-satisfaction questionnaire for you to fill out and for us to not look at and immediately throw away."

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

"The only reason I would take a job in government is to write a tell-all book!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

Narcissus

'Welcome to Narcissists Anonymous. Now before we get started let's talk about me for awhile.'

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

Selfie-Conscious

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

"Oh, please, do tell me what Warren Buffett has to say about adding bleach to delicates."