Name-changer Extraordinaire Gifts

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

Profit

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

Party time.

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

"I'm on the haywain."

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

"A lot of questions about EVs are cleared up once you start driving one."

'I'm tired of politicians ignoring me -- I want to have my name legally changed to 'Joe Six-Pack.''

The Little Top.

'Talk about being squeezed in between appointments.'

"Since Jesus keeps changing our names, I thought name tags would be nice."

"That's the part of hands-free technology that creeps me out... on-hold music karaoke."

Office worker with baby in drawer.

Overworked

"Look! A rare flightless bird!"

"From now on, I'd prefer to be called the Venti Dipper."

'I see Wavecrest's changed hands...'

'His is a working breed.'

"As receptionist, you'll be answering the phone, greeting customers and doing whatever else they dump on you."

"April Fool's on her!"

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"Sounds like a real game changer."

Trans Rights are Human Rights

Early multitasking - caveman.

'I was bored silly in there.'

The Cheshire Cat and Dog.

Candles: Mom burning at both ends.

Look, Mrs. Cohen, I'm on the phone, while also text messaging, surging the web and watching tv. You @#%$? nincompoop! Do one thing at a time you inane, geeky, nerdy, cone-headed boob! Ooh, it gets me so ... so ... Multi-taunting. Cruel and quite unusual.

Impressive resume.