Name Badge Enthusiast Gifts

Welcome: Psychics Convention.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Naming that Impala

Tom Cruise

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

What really became of the boy named Sue.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Sinead?!"

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

'My other baby is Mercedes'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Mr Long and Miss Short.

Continental marshal

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

'Entente Cordiale: When Eric [Cantona]kisses the badge on his shirt it turns round and kisses him right back!'

Changing house name.

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

'Theodore seemed much more approachable when he began going by his childhood name.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."