Nameplate Enthusiast Gifts

Robert Redford (Just Kidding!).

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Baptism Then and Now

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

Tom Cruise

Naming that Impala

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

What really became of the boy named Sue.

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Mr Long and Miss Short.

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

Changing house name.

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

Margaret...Meatball

"And remember, we're a multi-denominational church - we accept fiver, tenner, euros, dollars. . ."

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.