Nail Care Novice Gifts

'See what happens when you bite your nails.'

The adoration of the gels.

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

A Manicure

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Brad Pitt.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

The Manicure.

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

Level up your game with a MANicure.

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

Red in tooth and claw.

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

The not-so-living wall

'Oh great, now I broke a nail.'

Pandemic Orphans

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

'You don't know how lucky you are having tentacles instead of arms. I spend a fortune in manicure.'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

God's Manicure.

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

Cuticles Ugly-cles.

"You have a long life line... and where DO you get your nails done?"

"Pedicure is booming, but manicure is dead."

'If the lion doesn't eat him, we'll eat him.'

Nail Gun Manicure