Makeup Novice Gifts

"Well, yes it fits. But since I've seen her without her make up and glad rags, I'm not sure I still fancy her."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Today we learned to count to one.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Where are my eyelashes?"

Have you got your make up on yet?

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

First love.

Woman applying makeup

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

"Your mascara is running."