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"On the bright side, I haven't been biting my nails and they look amazing."

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

'Good lad - you've stopped biting your nails!'

Angel of hangnail

'Maybe it's about time you clipped those toenails.'

Sorry, I can't do your typing, I'm doing my filing."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

The adoration of the gels.

A Manicure

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

Missing my hair.

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

The barber

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Bald man spraying his head with hairspray

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."

The humidity plays heck with Sampson's hair.

"I'm so sorry darling: the shop was out of anti-dandruff shampoo..."

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

Red in tooth and claw.

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"There's too much fibre in your diet! Your roots are showing!"

God's Manicure.