Foot Care Aficionado T-Shirts

'School of chiropody? You can't miss it. Straight down here and it's next to the parmesan cheese factory.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Shoe addict.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"You're right. They do taste funny."

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

'Best to keep downwind.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"Doctor Scholl and Mr. Hyde."

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

Crocodile Shoes

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

FASHION NOTESFIRST SHOES FROM ITALY

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Worst case of dry scalp ever!"

Cutting Toenails.