Nail Care Connoisseur T-Shirts

The adoration of the gels.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

A Manicure

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

Red in tooth and claw.

'Botox so soon, Master?'

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'Oh great, now I broke a nail.'

God's Manicure.

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

A grave with an array of beauty products