Nail Care Aficionado Pillows

"On the bright side, I haven't been biting my nails and they look amazing."

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

'Good lad - you've stopped biting your nails!'

Angel of hangnail

'Maybe it's about time you clipped those toenails.'

Sorry, I can't do your typing, I'm doing my filing."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

The adoration of the gels.

A Manicure

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

Missing my hair.

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

The barber

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

Sunday morning provides a time to contemplate the state of our souls. Or soles, as the case may be.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

Moses gives his wife split ends

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Bald man spraying his head with hairspray

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

Red in tooth and claw.

"I'm so sorry darling: the shop was out of anti-dandruff shampoo..."

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."