Nail Enthusiast Pillows

"Pedicure is booming, but manicure is dead."

'Women love their nails, so next time she suggests you get fixed, tell her only if she gets declawed.'

Husband - 'Honey, the Vandamyer's are here!' Wife - 'I'll be down in a minute dear! I'm just polishing my nails.' (Woman polishing metal nails).

'I think your 10 o' clock appointment's arrived.'

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

The adoration of the gels.

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

A Manicure

Local food for local consumption

Slug Bait- snails love it

Snail Racing

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Snail Pattern Balding.

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Ewww

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Congratulations! When are you due?

Snail Coach

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

'I'm sorry, but just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship right now.'

Transylvanian Snails.

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."