Nail Enthusiast Pillows

"Pedicure is booming, but manicure is dead."

'Women love their nails, so next time she suggests you get fixed, tell her only if she gets declawed.'

Husband - 'Honey, the Vandamyer's are here!' Wife - 'I'll be down in a minute dear! I'm just polishing my nails.' (Woman polishing metal nails).

'I think your 10 o' clock appointment's arrived.'

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

The adoration of the gels.

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

A Manicure

Snail Racing

Slug Bait- snails love it

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Local food for local consumption

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Snail Pattern Balding.

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

Snail Coach

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'I'm sorry, but just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship right now.'

Snail trap

"Apparently there's been a slowdown in China."

"He's at that awkward age."

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

Repossessions