Mythical Humor Gifts

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Game time.

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

Arresting Adam and Eve

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

Man asking lady if she cares for him

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

"Snake eyes again!"

Sasquatch/Summersquatch

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

Medusa turning everyone in the 'Hard Rock caf�' into rock

Madam Mae: Fortune teller - Fortune 500.

'Madam Zelda sees all'

'Don't be daft,woman-of course I'm not gonna FRY her!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

Wrong Address

"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

Saturn wearing a NRA hat and eating his own child

"You're going on a very short journey."

"No Officer, but they will all make lovely trouser belts, shoes, or handbags."

"The best spell is sneezing."

God with a hammer

"Madam Zelda passed to the other side last week. Would you want me to get a message to her?"

'Not that sort of palm reading!'