Mythical Being Fan Gifts

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'

When the Tooth Fairy takes her obsession with teeth a little too far.

'I'm your designated 'Reaping Manager'. . . I'm here to discuss your DEATH. . . It's all part of our 'Forward Facing Client Engagement Strategy.''

'No. This is orcs. Shipping is extension 419.'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Swiss army knife

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Warrior Woman

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"OK-WHO THREW THAT..??

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

"I always knew you'd come back."

Traffic Cone Monsters

Hot Tub Frosty

'Well, 2012 is the year of the dragon, after all!'

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Dragon Graph

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'