Mystical Arts Gifts

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Czarcasm

The Witches Discover The Wok

Tiny Visions

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

'Your future looks charming.'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Ill next Thursday

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."