Mystery Of Life Explorer T-Shirts

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

'I wish I were your age again, and knew what I know now.'

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

Shark's Scuba Mask.

Myths and Other Urban Legends

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Danger Quicksand

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

"I love talking to you about my problems. We should do a podcast."

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"