Myrmecologist At Heart T-Shirts

'I love your spindly legs, your tiny pinhead and your bulging thorax - marry me!'

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"An everything Martini, please."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Onion operation.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

Praying Mantis.

'For Godsake,Archie! Will you just stop hovering!'

"Stop following me, please! I'm going to the toilet!"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

Mushrooms of New York

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'Grub's up!'

'Please Mike! Not in front of the children.'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

Magic Mushrooms

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

Bug Funerals

'I don't believe it! He's gone crawling back to her.'

The top half is formula. The bottom half is milk.

'Of course I'll need to run some tests; but offhand I'd say it's some sort of fungus infection.'

'He specializes in funny bones.'

"It's a great honour to meet you, your majesty. I'm your biggest fan."

'You look like a fun guy!'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'No point sulking,dear. If you're stopping in, you may as well be useful.'

'Hey Frank! I've told you before that there is no cross checking in chess.'