Musical Tryout Pillows

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Presenter Auditions.

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Ventriloquist Audition

Casting Director

"The guy's a natural!"

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

The battle of the pianos.

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

"This is a blind audition, right?"

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

She's a natural.

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'Now here's an Actor with real gravitas!'

Flautist

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

"Don't we thing Arlene would make a perfect Medea?"