Sports Tryout Pillows

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

How many people are coming to watch your lacrosse tryouts. No one. How about you? My mom, her boyfriend and my aunt. Plus my dad, step-mom and step-baby sister. Call ESPN. Do they cover competitive parenting? It's tons of jobs for color commentary.

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Football Fans

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

The MBA Draft

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

Holiday time.

Golfing Boss

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.