Musical Rival Pillows

"Don't call me ska face!"

Genius Envy

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The Sculptor

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

'My app just ate your widget.'

"Still on your left."

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

"It's not enough that I succeed. My friends must also be drawn and quartered."

'Darling, didn't you hear? Black is the new black.'

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"

Two ladies practising the trombones.

"Pickleballers – one mile away."

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."

"You heard the lady, buddy - she already has legal representation!"

"Now I want a clean fight and no head butting."

"And as a final condition, you'll acknowledge here that despite prevailing in our battle of the bands showdown 18 years ago, you were totally outrocked by the Ted Gusten Experience."

'It tasted nice until you told me she cooked it!'

Last chance to heckle a Yankee, next 150 miles.

'I'm afraid we're going to ask you to take a urine test, David'

EuroSoccer Kick-off.

'I guess if I looked half as good in the morning as her, you'd spend breakfast with me?'

"Why do you always have to make everything a competition?"

"Watch out for his divine right, Kid."

Mr. Tappertit's jealousy

"I know what you're thinking and you should be ashamed of yourself."

Minimalist fashion.