Musical Rivals Pillows

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The Sculptor

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

The battle of the pianos.

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

"Don't call me ska face!"

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

"It's not enough that I succeed. My friends must also be drawn and quartered."

"You heard the lady, buddy - she already has legal representation!"

Two ladies practising the trombones.

"Pickleballers – one mile away."

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."

"Now I want a clean fight and no head butting."

EuroSoccer Kick-off.

Last chance to heckle a Yankee, next 150 miles.

'I'm afraid we're going to ask you to take a urine test, David'

'I guess if I looked half as good in the morning as her, you'd spend breakfast with me?'

"And as a final condition, you'll acknowledge here that despite prevailing in our battle of the bands showdown 18 years ago, you were totally outrocked by the Ted Gusten Experience."

'It tasted nice until you told me she cooked it!'

"Why do you always have to make everything a competition?"

"I know what you're thinking and you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Watch out for his divine right, Kid."

Mr. Tappertit's jealousy