Musical Nostalgist Gifts

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

Victorian mother and daughter.

Lennon and McCartney.

"This next one's another oldie."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

Art Garfunkel.

Neil Young

"I love the popping sounds on old vinyl LPs..."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Is that when you turn the juke box off?"

Mick Jagger at 95.

His master's voice

"Horton hears The Who!"

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

What have you got by the Doors? Fire extinguishers and a light switch.

"Can't believe you've still got an eight-track player in this thing."

'Did I hear right - Bob Dylan's changin' his name back?'

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'Walkman' 'Shuffle man'

His Master Voice Desert Island

"Joe, you've got to stop singing 'Rocket Man.' Okay, how about 'Ground control to Major Tom'?"

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

"I don't get it...there are so many cool new bands out...but it looks like you haven't bought anything in forever!"

'Do you by any chance have any conservatory music?'

"I've got an extremely rare Dusty Springfield."

"Sure, you don't know me now, but just wait 'til the year 2000...I'm the Millennium Bug."

"He're the pitch; a sequel to 'Yesterday', but instead of The Beatles, it's The Carpenters. We'll call it 'Yesterday, Once More'."

'I can remember when this was all pop concerts.'

ARISTOTLE WITH A BUST OF HOMER:

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

Sony Dorkman

Rod Stewart