Music Nostalgics Gifts

'Apparently he's a techno-pop pioneer and the best urban act... will you make the tea?'

Lennon and McCartney.

"This next one's another oldie."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Art Garfunkel.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Neil Young

"I love the popping sounds on old vinyl LPs..."

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

"Roger, give me the shirt … it’s time."

His master's voice

Mick Jagger at 95.

"Is that when you turn the juke box off?"

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Horton hears The Who!"

What have you got by the Doors? Fire extinguishers and a light switch.

'Did I hear right - Bob Dylan's changin' his name back?'

"Can't believe you've still got an eight-track player in this thing."

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

"Joe, you've got to stop singing 'Rocket Man.' Okay, how about 'Ground control to Major Tom'?"

'Walkman' 'Shuffle man'

His Master Voice Desert Island

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

"I've got an extremely rare Dusty Springfield."

"He're the pitch; a sequel to 'Yesterday', but instead of The Beatles, it's The Carpenters. We'll call it 'Yesterday, Once More'."

"I don't get it...there are so many cool new bands out...but it looks like you haven't bought anything in forever!"

How Jimi Hendrix picked his nose.

'Do you by any chance have any conservatory music?'

'I can remember when this was all pop concerts.'

ARISTOTLE WITH A BUST OF HOMER:

Church in the year 2035.

"Would you mind turning down your Walkman just a little!"

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

James Brown's Soul Train.