Musical Jester Pillows

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... - 'My tinnitus is driving me crazy...' - 'La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...' - 'Quiet!' - 'La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Beer Order

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Karaoke night.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

NSA is coming to town.

"I'm very highly strung!"

Now a procedure! Someone suggest a procedure! Surgery at the Improv.

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'Is he taking the piss?'

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

Rugby oldies

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

"Mum, I think Grandad's run out of batteries."

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

"You'll notice it's the same list as last year. Let's try a little harder this time."

Homeless man's sign: 'Sperm donor to the crowned heads of Europe.'