Musical Diagnostician T-Shirts

'Is there any chance you have been in close contact with a Baritone?'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Baroque Peacock

Hildegard von Bingen

'That was Charlie Parker's 'Ornithology.' I threw in a flat nine in bar 16 and a tritone substitution in bar 22. Who noticed that? Hands up if you noticed!'

"I'm afraid that you have gnumonia."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

Sir Patrick Moore.

'Look Clara, I'm telling you for the last time, it's not me who's crazy. It's Eusebius.'

Bedside Manna.

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"Yes it's Mozart...but is it evidence-based Mozart?"

"Now version of 'Des Knaben Wunderhorn'."

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

'Well my inner diagnostician thinks your inner diagnostician is completely off the wall.'

Vivaldi and his creative partner

Richard Wagner

"This lovely song tall of a young woman on a spring day...happily comes across a fluorimeter with a fluid transfer system..."

"Do you have the 'Oxford Companion to Michael Jackson'?"

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

The Cello Victims

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

'Everybody stand back! I'm an ethnomusicologist.'

Antonin Dvorak

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'I've made spaghetti Johann - very good for contrapuntal work!'

A little night music...

Josquin Des Press

Hildegard von Bingen

Dmitri Shostakovich

'It's not tunes, it's Beethoven.'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

'I've conducted a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed...'

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand