Musical Birder Gifts

"Feel free to hum along to this next one."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Birds with Headphones

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

baby birds in a nest reading Chick Lit

Wordplay: Me.

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Stories about crumbs

"I love binge watching streamed content."

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

Bird at birdbath shaving.

"I don't believe the "Smart TV" is the one always turning to women's beach volleyball."

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

'How many times have we got to watch a turtle laying eggs?'

Spock visits the Orthopedics

Drone Aerodrome

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

"I'm just stating if a watched pot never boils, we could go finish the 5 minutes left of Handmaid's tale."

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?

"I'm only gone one night a year and you still watched our show without me?"

"A bowl of your finest seed. And another table."

'Tommy move, I can't see the screen.'

"Hey, you! We'll give you 20 bucks for that selfie."

'This courtroom drama has made me want to sue, sue, sue.'

"I keep losing the plot."

In a surprising development, Judge Judy today banned cameras from her courtroom.

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'