Traveling Birder Gifts

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Stories about crumbs

baby birds in a nest reading Chick Lit

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

Bird at birdbath shaving.

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

Drone Aerodrome

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

"Hey, you! We'll give you 20 bucks for that selfie."

"A bowl of your finest seed. And another table."

Phone Henge

'Wait...that's not a gray chested black wing hawk, that's a drone.'

"Who'd want to Retire...what would you do with your time?...Apart from spend time with your kids...see all those places you always promised you would...be the person you want to be...have a life!"

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

"Feel free to hum along to this next one."

'George! Come and look at your squirrel-proof feeder!'

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact."

(Talking to birds) 'Don't blame me. I didn't mix the stuff!'

'We should probably start buying smaller nuts'

The Common-Spotted Tweeter.

"Come to bed Frank. You have a problem."

"Dear sir....Today I heard the first cuckoo ringtone."

'Thanks to the computer, I don't have to fly to so many meetings.'

Educational Experience Ahead.

Bird table canteen.

'Well, I missed my turn in Montana, and the next thing I knew....:'

'I thought the Indiana state bird was 'Larry'.'