Joke-loving Birder Gifts

Overdone bird jokes

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Men dancing

baby birds in a nest reading Chick Lit

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

Bird at birdbath shaving.

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

Drone Aerodrome

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

"A bowl of your finest seed. And another table."

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact."

'Question number one: Does your wife ask you questions from women's magazines?'

"He can't be very good, look at his face."

'George! Come and look at your squirrel-proof feeder!'

(Talking to birds) 'Don't blame me. I didn't mix the stuff!'

'We should probably start buying smaller nuts'

"Feel free to hum along to this next one."

'Thanks to the computer, I don't have to fly to so many meetings.'