Joke-loving Birder Gifts

Overdone bird jokes

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Men dancing

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

baby birds in a nest reading Chick Lit

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Bird at birdbath shaving.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

Drone Aerodrome

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"A bowl of your finest seed. And another table."

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact."

"He can't be very good, look at his face."

'George! Come and look at your squirrel-proof feeder!'

(Talking to birds) 'Don't blame me. I didn't mix the stuff!'

'We should probably start buying smaller nuts'

"Feel free to hum along to this next one."

"Come to bed Frank. You have a problem."