Frugal Birder Gifts

'It's all the blind I could afford.'

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

baby birds in a nest reading Chick Lit

Stories about crumbs

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

Bird at birdbath shaving.

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

Drone Aerodrome

No Frills Psychiatrist.

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

I've got to make an offering to the cheapskate muse. What's that got to do with me? You understand women. What could I do to bring back my goddess of inspiration? That's nice. What's nice? Goddess of inspiration. You mind if I use that line on this hottie I met when I was trolling for broads at the bus station? This is not helping! No, it is. Don't sell yourself short. HOJ.

"A bowl of your finest seed. And another table."

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

"Dear sir....Today I heard the first cuckoo ringtone."

Airport Security. It takes longer getting through security, but by wearing all my clothes, I don't have to pay to check a bag!

"Feel free to hum along to this next one."

'We should probably start buying smaller nuts'

"What's for tea, love?. . . Beans on toast! We've got £2,376,931 in 't' bank and we're having beans on toast!"