Bedroom Birder Gifts

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Stories about crumbs

Biting Slippers.

baby birds in a nest reading Chick Lit

'Gravity wins - again.'

Wine Lovers

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

Bird at birdbath shaving.

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

Drone Aerodrome

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

"Are we there yet?"

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

"A bowl of your finest seed. And another table."

'Don't just sit there buffering, clean up you room.'

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

"Dear sir....Today I heard the first cuckoo ringtone."

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

'We should probably start buying smaller nuts'

"Feel free to hum along to this next one."

'George! Come and look at your squirrel-proof feeder!'

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact."

(Talking to birds) 'Don't blame me. I didn't mix the stuff!'

Introducing the Tofuton