Music Lovers Who Love Sports Gifts

'I know the Fox 40 whistle is good, but this trumpet is better.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

I like the Jets...I guess

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mixed Doubles.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Cossack dancers

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Dialogue about the relationship.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Plum jam...

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Egyptian Football

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Golf with a difference

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."