Music Impresario Gifts

Piano eight hands.

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

"I have to say candidate two made a very good impression."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

After selling his life story, with movie and merchandising rights, Zorro had a new mark.

"Lou, c'm'ere - you gotta check out this guy's Degas!"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'So, Vincent, who is your target market?'

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

Unknown moments in art history. Manet? This is Monet --- I got some of your mail again.

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

Edgar Degas

"He does impressions too!"

"Kiss me. I'm Claude Monet."

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

"Improv – that's were the big money is."

'You'll notice on my resume that nothing has ever been my fault.'

Improv Night

"Well, Mr. Hicks, your resume looks quite impressive and of course, the fact that you can sniff out truffles is a plus!"

Sergey Diagilev

'Sorry, but I have to put 'Orca': Who would hire a 'Killer Whale'?...'

Man chooses head from cupboard.

Qualifications

"I have an interview with a law firm. I hope to make an impression."

'And he's so-o-o-o knowledgeable about wine. He must have spent an hour telling me about his trip to Chardonnary.'

"If Monet knew Photoshop, it wouldn't look so blurry."

Private thoughts of a television. I'd love the chance to ad lib just once!

James Whistler