Music Festival Fan Gifts

Liam Gallagher.

"Free Bird!"

Lemmings Crowd Surf

"I couldn't actually see the band but here's a photo of them on the person in front of me's phone."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Face painting.

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Cimafunk

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

EWE 2.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

Italica

Rainbow Quartet

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Pearly King and Queen

Old hippie gives peace sign.

Tina Turner

Quartet.

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

The Running of the Brie

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

The dark side of Halloween.

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

Ray Davies

Earth Mother

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'

I came, I saw, I partied!