Mushroom Whisperer T-Shirts

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

The Busy Gardener

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

The Worm Charmer

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Tree Passion

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Man watering his plants in the rain.