Mushroom Whisperer Pillows

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

The Busy Gardener

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

An Unexpected Guest.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

The Worm Charmer

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Botany Baby!

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Tree Passion

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!