Magical Plant Whisperer Pillows

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

The Busy Gardener

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

Gardener

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

An old man growing berries

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Tree Passion

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'