Museum Worker Gifts

They're museum quality!"

'Cheer up Don! Everybody starts at the bottom.'

"It's an exact replica of the kind of zoo they would usually live in."

Graffiti on the Mona Lisa.

"Throw it, throw it!"

Social distancing,

"Well it's a lovely piece passed down to you by your father. How did he acquire it?"

Museum dilemma: X-rays real a Leonardo under a Rembrandt.

"Look, Harry, this one has cold air coming out of it!"

Music for The Thinker

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

'Ah-choo.' - 'Guggenheim.'

'It occurs every fall, sir.'

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

"First, we install proper insulation. Then we call the Museum of Natural History."

The Art Exhibit

Rodin's Dustman

Cleaner in a museum getting scared by the exhibits.

"An early impressionist..."

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

They spent ages trying to decide if the painting had, or had not, been vandalised.

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Museum. It's great we got this job moving statues here at the museum. CRASH! That was no time to make a joke about a "piece of art."

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

The Googler

'That's about it so far, Son.'