Art Museum Employee Gifts

"The Salvador Dali Museum does offer flex time to employees."

The Googler

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

I painted them all from memory.

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"Outré or simply bad?"

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

Closed for Renovation

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

Graffiti on the Mona Lisa.

"He's left out the staples"

The hall of bad ideas.

In the art gallery

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone

'Of course this makes your old masters al look now so very contrived.'

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

Modigliani's Giraffe

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

Damien Hirst Cafe