Muse Whisperer Pillows

'Hey, I used that model once!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Woman applying makeup

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Creative accounting.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

Product Testing Department

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

Is this Seat Taken?

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

I love geeks

The Chicken of the North

Literary Type

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

Tunnel of Mice

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

"My analysis is you're selfie obsessed!"

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Alas, poor Yorick!

"Try S instead of L."